Psalm 139

I love Psalm 139. It has been a favorite of mine for awhile. A friend of mine's pastor preached on this passage recently and he came up with a neat way to pray this passage:

God, You know what is going on.
God, You are here in my situation.
God, You have the power to handle this.
God, You will take care of me.
God, help me in my situation.
God, my heart is yours!

I want this to be how I pray...


Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

God's Amazing!!

I'm amazed at how good God is. Over the last several months it has been very clear how God has been working in my life and in my relationship with Josh. Planning this wedding has been no different. It's amazing how many details God has worked out. When I first told people that I was getting married in two months, most reactions indicated that two months is a short time in order to get a wedding together. It's honestly been pretty okay though and I'm pretty sure I could have had it ready in about 4-5 weeks. The most stressful thing was setting the date and once that got set things have just seemed to fall into place.

There is no doubt in my mind that God's hand has been in the details of my life. Sometimes I wonder why God has been so good to me because I definitely don't deserve it. He has been faithful in times when I have not. He's been patiently waiting there in the moments when I have walked away. He has loved me unconditionally in the times when my actions aren't very loving towards Him. I would be the first to say I don't know why God has blessed me so much recently. I don't know why he blessed me with a future husband that is the perfect compliment to me, that loves me and loves God. I've had a job that has been a huge blessing to me (even on the stressful days). I've been blessed with parents that love me and would do anything for me.

If there is anything that could come out of all the ways God has been working in my life or all the details He has worked out I would hope it would be that others can see how good God really is. I could never have worked my life out by myself. At times in my life things have not gone how I wanted them to or planned them to and that was devastating in those moments. Despite this God was still there and He helped me through these times. If any of those things in my past were different than I might not be where or who I am today. If I had gone down a different path than I might not have Josh in my life. I'm thankful that God's plans for me are so much better than any I could ever come up with. No matter what the future holds, even if something does not go the way I want it to, I will choose to trust God because of all that he has brought me through. To God be the glory, honor and praise for anything good that comes from my life.

I'm Getting Married!!!!

The biggest news in my life right now is that Josh and I are getting married. He asked me to marry him on New Years Day and I of course, said "YES!" So, we are getting married in about 2 months. I cannot wait! I know I've said this a million times and I'm sure that some people might get tired of hearing it but Josh really is an amazing guy. We are so perfect for each other in so many ways. It really seems like God picked him out for me because he knew exactly the type of guy that I needed to marry. There are so many times when God has seemed to support/encourage this relationship and I am so thankful that God put him in my life. I love Josh with all my heart.

I'm so excited about sharing the rest of my life with Josh. He is my best friend. I have learned a lot from Josh and he has inspired me to try to be a better person. Through loving Josh I have learned more about what it means to love God and to serve Him. Josh is my living, breathing, walking Ebenezer stone (symbol of God's faithfulness and what he has done in my life).

I'm not sure what the future holds for me and Josh but I do know that with God in our lives and in our relationship, I'm sure we can handle whatever comes. One of my many goals for the next two months is not to let the craziness of planning a wedding and moving my life to NW Arkansas crowd out the time I need to spend with God. I need/want God in my life and I know that I can't do this life on my own (on any good day let alone adding in all the craziness of the next two months). One of my many prayers is that God would teach me how to love more, trust him and now how to become a good wife.