Times are Changing

So, I started a new job right before Christmas and this new job is so much better than my last one. To me it finally seems like things are changing. I don't hate my job (in fact most days I actually like it). I get to have more time not working. Most days I don't leave my apartment until 8:15 am. I also get an hour lunch. The best part is that most days I'm done working by 5:30 or 6:00 and I have a 5 minute drive home. When I get home I don't have to spend any time on paperwork. On my weekends, I don't have to spend hours planning for the next week. All in all, it is a much better experience.

My new job has also opened the door for new friends. I'm most excited about this. For 7 months I've been here with no friends and it has been very hard. I don't fit in at my church because I'm the only single person who is above college age. I'm in a Sunday School class with young married couples who all get together with each other and talk to each other throughout the week but not with me. The kicker was at Christmas when they would all give Christmas cards to each other but none to me. That was awkward. I have really missed Marti and the rest of my friends in Indiana. Needless to say this has been a very hard, lonely time that is finally beginning to change.

God, thank you for caring about me. Thank you for providing what I need, when I need it. Thank you for being here with me when I had no one else. You are my rock and fortress. You know how many times I have prayed and cried about my situation and you listened each time. More than anything else (including a good job or friends) I need you. Thank you God for my new job and the new friends I am making. May I never forget all that You have done for me or how much I will always need you. Amen.

Faith

Okay, so I've recently started reading other people's blogs and have decided that it might be fun to at least have an outlet for my thoughts even if no one else reads this. Yesterday I spent a couple hours reading the blog of the wife of a member of Selah (a Christian singing group). This couple found out about 1 year ago that there were complications with the baby (Audrey) that this woman was carrying. It went through the next several months of doctor appointments and the ups and downs of knowing that the baby she was carrying would not live. I cried for a couple hours straight as I was reading this blog. I not only thought it was sad but I was also touched by the faith that this family had. Throughout the whole experience they never doubted God's plan. Oh, they prayed for a miracle but they accepted the fact that if that miracle never happened, God was the same today that he was the day before they found out about these complications. She quoted lyrics from another Christian song ("Bring the Rain") that says, "I know there will be days when this life brings me pain but if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain." I want this kind of faith in my life. I want to say to God, "God, even if this life doesn't turn out how I want, I still have faith in You and trust Your plan for my life." This is a lot easier to say then to actually mean with my whole heart. I want to mean it but I also want certain things for my life. For example, I long for a husband. Someone to share my life with and I want friends here in Arkansas like I had in Indiana. I do chose to trust God with these things but it's just hard when God's plan and timing for things in my life doesn't match mine.

God, please help me. I need you more than anything else. I want to trust you with everything including my future and where I am now. Help me God. Thanks God for all you have done for me. I know without a shadow of doubt that you have been here with me and helped me through so much all ready. Knowing this it makes me ashamed that I would ever doubt Your plan for me or not trust You. Please forgive me God for my weaknesses and the times when I have failed or dissappointed you. Draw me closer to you everyday God. Help me love you more each day. Thanks God for caring about me and listening to me.