4 Amazing Days

I got to spend 4 amazing days with Josh this past weekend. We decided to go camping for the first few days. I never thought that I would be camping a few days before Christmas but I did it and it was fun. It really wasn't too cold. At night we had an electric heater that helped take the edge off how cold it was. On Sunday we went to a park (whose name I forget) and walked around a mountain. It was pretty. Here are a few pictures:






I think it would be neat to come back and see this park when there are leaves on the trees and especially during the Fall season.

I loved getting to spend so much time with Josh and I can't wait until I get to spend more time with him. Again, I am so very blessed that he is part of my life now. This Christmas season I have so much to be thankful for!

Friday Funnies

I love to laugh and think that laughter is one of God's gifts to people. It's a great stress reliever and just makes you feel better. Enjoy!!

Mute Monks

Very creative rendition of the Hallelujah chorus. This Christmas season seems a little bit more busy than previous ones and I've had a hard time trying to figure out what to get everyone for Christmas. Despite all the craziness of this season I don't want to forget what the real meaning of Christmas is. I don't want to forget that this is a time to celebrate Jesus, the hope of the world's birth. Without him we would all be lost. He is the true source of all Joy, Peace and Love. What an incredible gift God gave us with his son.

I've had another wonderful gift this season and that is getting to spend time with an amazing man and to make it even better this amazing man cares about me (quirks and all). :-) He puts a smile on my face and makes me really happy just because he is who he is. I love him just the way he is and I wouldn't change anything about him. He is God's gift to me this Christmas season.

Northwest Arkansas

This weekend I made my way to Northwest Arkansas (Springdale, Fayetteville area) with my parents. On the way we stopped in Little Rock at Mardel (love that bookstore) to look at some books and then went on to Petit Jean State park so that I could show my parents where I have been spending a lot of time. It was again beautiful (as it always is). I don't think I will ever get tired of seeing it. I must admit though that this week when I went it looked a lot different because the trees don't have any leaves on them. Here are yet again, a few more pictures from the park.

I like it when the camera focus on something close but then you can also see something beautiful in the background.

I love the blue sky in this picture...

I just love this view. It's amazing to me though how different it looks this time of year.

I took this picture because I absolutely love red and orange leaves. There aren't a lot of trees I've seen this year with these colors but I absolutely love them. I don't know much about science and I know there is probably some good technical explanation for this but I'm just amazed that God created a process whereby green leaves can change into such beautiful colors. I thank God a lot that he allows me to enjoy looking at beautiful things he has created.

What is wrong with this picture? We were coming back from the Cedar Creek Falls and my dad immediately noticed that we had a very flat tire. This nice guy came along though and helped my dad by letting him borrow his heavy duty jack and then basically changing the tire for us. I know about the concept of changing a car tire but have never done so. I actually learned two important things from this: 1) You should put the emergency break on the car before starting to jack the car up. 2) You should loosen the lug nuts some before jacking the car up. Both of these things seem like good things to know that I didn't know before. :-) I am thankful that this guy came to help us as I'm 100% sure that this process went a lot smoother than it would have if he hadn't helped. I'm also thankful that I have roadside assistance and can call them if this ever happens to me so that I don't have to try to do this by myself.

My parents wanted to visit Bentonville which is where Walmart started. So, this is a picture of the first store that is now a museum. It was a little bit more interesting than I thought it would be. The thing I was most struck by is how down-to-earth Sam Walton was. This guy was filthy rich but it didn't seem to get to his head.

Today at church there was a good sermon on anxiety/stress and what you and God can do about it. There is a passage in Philippians 4 that addresses this issue. Sometimes I get stressed out when I think about all I have to do or the responsibilities I feel like I have and I think at those times it's when I forget that I don't have to do life on my own. I have God and I know that my God is big enough to handle whatever stressors I have in my life. I just need to let Him have those situations instead of trying to handle everything on my own. Another point that is in this passage that I actually mentioned on my last post is to give thanks to God in everything. I might not like what is going on or I might be in the midst of a terribly trying time but there are still things to be thankful for in those moments. Above all I can be thankful that I don't have to go through those times by myself. I have a God who loves me and will hold my hand through anything. I love that this passage says that if we give our worries to God the result is that we will have peace. Isn't that what we all want anyway? It makes me wonder though why sometimes I fight so hard to hold on to these stressors/worries instead of giving them to God in the first place. I believe in Jeremiah 29:11 that says God has a plan for my life and I trust His plan even if it doesn't match my plan. We sang this song in church today and it has been playing over and over in my head:

You are my strength when I am weak

You are the treasure that I seek

You are my all in all

Seeking You as a precious jewel

Lord, to give up I'd be a fool

You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame

Rising up again I bless Your name

You are my all in all

When I fall down You pick me up

When I am dry You fill my cup

You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

Jesus, Lamb of God

Worthy is Your name

This song is so true...

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am so thankful for so many things this year. Most of all I'm thankful for God and what he has done for me and in my life. He is the ultimate source of love, joy, peace and hope. I'm thankful as I've said before that He loves me and persues a relationship with me (even though He knows me completely, He still thinks I'm worth having a relationship with). God is amanzing! I'm thankful for the Bible and the fact that I can read it whenever I want to and I can learn more about God. I love the Bible! I'm very thankful for other people who study the Bible and then write books to help me learn and understand different things about the Bible.

I'm thankful for so many other things. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful that my mom has so wonderfully come to visit me and helped with the cooking and cleaning. It's been wonderful to get a little break from that. As I mentioned in my last post I'm very thankful for Josh and the impact he has had on my life. I thank God everyday for him. I'm extremely thankful for the days that I get to spend time with him and I'm thankful for cell phones for the days in between.

I'm very thankful for my job. I don't think community mental health is a job I want to do forever and it can be very stressful at times but I think I currently work for a great company and have a good boss. That helps a lot with making my job bearable. I also am thankful for a great work schedule. Most days I don't have to be there until 9:00 and I usually leave any time between 5:00 and 5:30 plus I usually get an hour lunch. I also don't have to take my work home to finish it. This is a lot different than how things were in my last two jobs. I again am very thankful for my job.

I've been blessed with an apartment to live in, food to eat (plenty of it) and financial security at this point in my life. God has been good to me more than I deserve.

I'm thankful for beautiful weather and blue sky days. Lately, I've gotten to see some beautiful things that are part of God's creation and I am very thankful for that. I am thankful for my health and ability to exercise (if I ever chose to) :-). I'm thankful for my cats which might sound weird but they have been faithful companions especially over the last 1.5 years. They greet me at the door each night and are happy to see me. I'm glad I don't have to come home to an empty apartment.

There are so many other things that I could list here. In grad school I once had an assignment from a professor where we had to write down 10 things each week throughout the semester that we were thankful for and we couldn't repeat any. It was a good assignment (I'll admit that sometimes I thought it was somewhat challenging to think of new things) because it helped me to redirect my attention and to stop and notice some of the good things that I have in my life. I think sometimes everyone (including me) can get stuck in a rut and tends to dwell on the negative things going on in the world or their life and that in turns tends to reinforce the negative feelings people have. I would say I'm usually pretty thankful for the things I've been blessed with but I could work some at focusing more attention on these things and thanking God for them. I don't want to take things for granted ever. I completely understand that not everyone has the same blessings in life that I do and I completely understand that these blessings could be taken away at any time. If that were to happen you know what, it would be okay. The one thing that can never be taken away is God and His love for me and through whatever comes in my future I will chose to trust Him and cling to His love. He is what I need more than anything else from my list. I chose to be thankful for what I've been blessed with.

Happiness

I love it when I think about something and whatever I'm thinking about causes me to smile or laugh. I've been doing that a lot lately. I'm happier and more content now than I have been in a long time (if ever). I know I say this a lot but I'm amazed at how God has taken care of me and worked throughout my life. He has brought me so far on this journey called life. I am so thankful that He didn't leave me where I was.

I'm thankful for Josh. He is an amazing person who I can't imagine not having in my life. He is the source of most of my smiles lately. :-) I find myself thinking about something he said or something he did and it will just cause me to smile. One of the funny things that I've thought about recently that makes me smile (because I like them) are the noises he makes when he is telling a story to help illustrate the story. I think I'm more self-conscious about making noise illustrations like that because what if the noise I make sounds nothing like what the noise really is. It's kind of like singing in front of people. I know this makes me sound weird. I love to listen to the stories he tells. I love how considerate he is towards me and what I want. I have found someone who I absolutely love to spend time with. Tonight, after work, I was walking to my car and I thought to myself how much I would love it if Josh were there and I got to walk with him or spend time with him. Again, this thought made me smile. I love how different we are but so alike on certain things. I love all the little bits of random trivia that he knows. I love the way his brain works. Most times he can't see me when he is telling me this trivia but it usually puts a smile on my face when he says it because I'm just amazed. He's got a great sense of humor and I love his laugh. I love it when he holds my hand or puts his arm around me. I love his heart for God and how he wants to live his life in a way that would honor God. I admire Josh for so many reasons. I've really missed Josh these past two weeks (has it only been two weeks it seems like at least a month). He surprised me by calling tonight (I wasn't expecting him to call until tomorrow) which makes me happy. I can't wait until the next time I get to spend time with Josh. As I said before he is amazing! :-) Josh is definitely a blessing to me in so many ways. I'm so thankful that God allowed us to meet.

Good Day in Arkansas...

I have done a lot of traveling in the last 7 days and today was no different. It started with me and my mom driving to Pine Bluff so that I could go to a eye doctor's appointment. This was my first visit with an eye doctor in Arkansas. It was quite the experience. After waiting 45 minutes to get in to see the doctor, he didn't spend as much time examining my eyes as most eye doctors usually do. Then we head to this other room with a bunch of contact stuff (which is great because that's why I went to this appointment - - to get more contacts). He tells me that my eyes are not getting enough oxygen and that I need to do a few things about this. First, I need to not buy the cheap contact solution because I have such fair skin that most any chemical will just absorb into me and could cause problems for my eyes (I had no idea that my fair skin had anything to do with that). Then he said that I need to wear my contacts less (which I'm not a huge fan of this idea because I don't like wearing glasses). The last idea he said (which is about the craziest sounding thing I've heard lately) is that at least once a week I need to put my contacts in a small bowl of baking soda in order to get oil off them which will help get more oxygen to my eye. This doctor said a lot of things and at times he seemed to say contradictory things. At one point I kinda wished someone else were in the room with me so that they could hear what he was saying too. He said so much that I'm not even sure I remember it all... It ended with me saying that the new contacts he had me put in weren't working because things were blurry still. He told me that I should walk around the store for 15 minutes and he would check my eyes again. I walked around, he checked my eyes, I told him things were still blurry and he didn't change the prescription. I'm going to give these contacts a week and see how they turn out.

After this my mom and me were in a rush to Little Rock. The goal was to get there before the early bird sales got done. We went to JCPenney first and unfortunately only had about 20-25 minutes to shop before the big sale was over. I did manage to get a nice sweater so that made me happy.

At this point I was starving and my mom mentioned that she saw a certain, sit-down restaurant that she likes that has decent prices. Sounded good to me as I hadn't eaten in one of these restaurants in several years. All was good while we were looking at the menus and deciding what to eat. We ordered the food and then my mom went to the restroom. This left me by myself (which is not a huge deal in itself). The table behind me made a comment (I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but it was hard not to hear this) about a lizard on the wall. This of course caught my attention and I looked at the wall that was on the other side of this divider thing and sure enough there was a fairly large lizard on the wall (biggest one I've seen that was not in a zoo). My first thought was that is a poor choice of decorations to have in a restaurant. My second thought that I actually said out loud was, "It's real!!!" About that time my mom comes back and I immediately tell her that there is a lizard on the wall not more than 10 feet from us. The waitress was told about this in a timely fashion by the table behind me and then the manager. Next thing I know the manager is there saying out loud to a guy that the lizard has to go. He cannot stay (which is okay with me cause I didn't want him there). The guy worker says out loud that he knows these lizards are very fast and if he swats it to the floor that it will run fast. This immediately has me concerned because I don't want anything running towards me. After about a minute I've decided that maybe I don't want to sit here anymore and start scooting to the edge of my booth. Next thing I know there is a commotion and the guy has hit the lizard onto the floor. I immediately am thinking that this fast lizard is going to come get me now (and I start to panic a little). I could have sworn that someone said something about the guy beating the lizard with a broom to kill it (which is also not something I want to hear or see at a place where I'm going to be eating food). My mom said though that he was just standing on the broom to kill it. Either way at that point I had seen/heard enough and was literally getting ready to stand up and go somewhere else but the waitress brings the food at that exact moment. She makes a comment about not being able to handle lizards either and asks me if I was okay (which was nice of her). I did freak out a little but I'm just glad I didn't scream. Some might think this is extreme for just a lizard but I really don't like any kind of reptile, bug, amphibian or fish (if I have to touch it). I'm okay with being labeled a wimp.

After this we did manage to hit two more stores and I got some good deals on clothes. It was nice to go shopping with my mom as I haven't done this in a long time. We don't always like the same style of clothes but it's nice to have someones second opinion about how something looks sometimes.

On the way home I convinced my mom to drive some (as I was getting tired). We decided to stop at this little shopping village in Star City because I had decided to take my mom there to eat for her birthday. We went tonight just to see where it was, what was available and the hours of operation. It was a nice little shopping village. It really surprised me to find this type of a place in Star City. They had a bakery there and we picked up some goodies that I'm looking forward to eating. Plus we still get to go back and eat some yummy food next weekend for my mom's birthday.

All in all, it was a good day filled with some surprises. :-) I'm glad I got to spend the day with my mom.

Encouragement

Today was my first day at a counseling conference. The keynote speaker today was amazing. He spent a lot of time talking about how important encouragement is. He also emphasized something that I'm passionate about and that is how much potential kids/teens have. I love seeing the good in kids and trying my best to encourage them to make good choices for themselves and their future. With several of the sessions today I was reminded of how much I love working with kids. I'm not sure what the future holds but no matter what job I'm doing professionally I really would like to get involved with reaching out to teens in some way (maybe mentoring). The title of this conference is "Facing the Giants" which is my absolute favorite movie partly because of the faith messages throughout it but also because of the impact adults had in the lives of the teens. I know that I would not be where I am today without my friend Marti coming along beside me and helping me get through my teenage years. I'm so thankful for her.


Encouragement is something I want to work on. I know that I respond better to encouragement rather than other forms of communication. At the end the keynote speaker told a touching story of how he took the advice of a 92 year old man and applied the golden rule to his relationship with his wife. The 92 year old man pointed out that if we all treated others the way we want to be treated then there would be a lot less divorce or other problems. This 92 year old man walked the talk. He spent 20 years taking care of his wife (by himself) who had Alzheimer's. It was just a really touching story...

I'm looking forward to the next 1.5 days of my conference!

Gifts

This was taken from a scenic overlook at Petit Jean State Park. It was absolutely beautiful. This picture does not really do it justice.

These two pictures were taken at sunset and again the pictures don't completely capture what it really looked like. I love it when the sun casts a golden light on things.

I have really been blessed lately and I'm just amazed at it. God has allowed me to enjoy beautiful things lately like the sunset above, the changing leaves and shooting stars. I have been extremely blessed to have met someone who loves God, loves others, laughs a lot and has a kind heart. He makes me smile all the time and makes me happy. He truely is a gift from God. Again, I'm amazed at how God has blessed me. I truely don't deserve it.

I am blessed that I get to spend a few weeks with my mom, just the two of us. We have never spent so much time together by ourselves. My mom is an amazing mom. She has done so much for me. As we grew up she gave of herself unselfishly to take care of us. She attended all of my school functions, cleaned up after us and was the taxi cab driver all over town. Sometimes I'm amazed at how she managed to juggle it all. She did a lot for us without much gratitude at the time. I love my mom and think she's the best in the whole world. I thank God for her in my life.

I'm blessed to have God in my life. If I had nothing else except Him I would be good but for some reason He has given me so much more. God knows me completely, loves me and sent His only son to pay the price that I deserve to pay for my sins. There is no bigger blessing than that. I love God and I'm also thankful that I can have a relationship with Him. He is my hope and strength and source of peace and joy. I would be lost without Him.

Indescribable

"Indescribable" by Chris Tomlin

From the highest of heights
to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings


All exclaiming Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God


Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom


Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God


Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God



Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

These are a few more picture from Petit Jean State Park. To see this park in person is much better than seeing it in pictures. The beauty of God's creation points to an amazing creator. As the song above says, He placed the stars in the sky and He knows them all by name. He sees the depth of my heart and yet He still loves me. The God of the universe loves me and you. There really is nothing else that compares to this.

I love Fall. It's actually my favorite of the four seasons. I have really had the chance this Fall to get out and enjoy the weather and the beauty of God's creation. I'm thankful that God gives us little moments or pieces of time that we can just enjoy beauty (a sunset, a flower, a smile, the changing of leaves, shooting stars, etc.), life and laughter. Sometimes I wonder if God's looking down from heaven and enjoying these little moments also.

God has really changed things in my life recently. Again, I'm struck by how awesome God's plans are for me compared to anything I could come up with on my own. He has provided something that I've spent years praying about. If you completely understood what I was talking about you would be just as amazed at God and how He works. No one knows the future but I can tell you by seeing my present situation and my past that there is a God who loves me and has taken care of me in so many ways. I don't deserve this love but I'm so thankful for it. To God be all the glory, honor and praise for anything good that comes out of my life.

What a Day!

Yesterday started bright and early for me in Little Rock. I participated in the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure 5K run. I've been training for this run for the past 9 weeks because I wanted to be able to jog most of this as opposed to walking my last one. I got to downtown Little Rock about 6:30 am and boy was in freezing! The next big thing that hit me was just how many thousands of people were at this event. I walked up to one long line at one point and asked someone what the line was for and she said, "yogurt." There were tons of vendors giving away free stuff and yogurt was one of them. I however was not going to stand in a very long line just for yogurt. I was actually one of the first people at the starting line. I wanted to do this because I wanted to be able to jog this race so I didn't want to be stuck behind people walking. However, by the time the race started it was crazy how many people were around me. It litterally was wall-to-wall people. If you were standing straight and leaned over just a little in any direction you would bump into someone else.


I thought the race went pretty good (especially for the first one I jogged). However I did have a wardrobe problem that caused problems throughout the race. I learned several weeks ago that when I am jogging I can't have anything in my pockets because the weight and bouncing tends to pull my pants down so I would constantly have to keep tugging at them to stay up. Well, yesterday I had taken off my sweatshirt before I started jogging and tied it around my waist. Unfortunately the weight of this heavy sweatshirt was having the same effect as if I had stuff in my pockets. It was kind of an annoying thing to have to deal with throughout the race but I managed (but might have looked a little funny doing it). :-) There were tons of people lining the race route and that was actually interesting. I've always thought I wouldn't want to exercise in front of too many people (and still don't really) but these people were cheering and encouraging everyone who jogged by them. It actually kind of helped in my opinion. It was neat!



I read on the Arkansas news station's website that there were 45,000 people who walked/jogged this race. That is a ton of people. Supposedly last year's Arkansas' race was the 4th largest in the entire world. I finished the race in 33 minutes and 50 seconds. That's not bad for my first time. I had to stop twice to tie my shoe, once to try to do something with my sweatshirt and pants and I walked 1-2 minutes up part of the third hill. I think I would do it again. It was a good experience and for a good cause.



After this I went pack to Petit Jean State Park and got to see some things that I didn't see the last time. Here are a few pictures:

This picture is from the Petit Jean overlook that is by her gravesite.

This is another one of the same place just a different spot.

This was taken at a different overlook and I just thought the rocks were neat.

This was a neat place that looks like a cave but really was more like a rock shelter. There are indian drawings on the wall but they were a little hard to identify.

This I believe is called "Davies Bridge." It was made by 15-20 men and is one of only 8 remaining masonry bridges in Arkansas (if I remember correctly what the sign said). It was pretty. I love the color of those stones.

This is a picture of Cedar Falls which is the tallest waterfall in Arkansas (see picture on previous post) from a different, much higher perspective.

This is part of a rock grouping called Bear Cave Trail. It was also pretty neat and had amazing views on top of some of the big rocks.

Here is one of those amazing views from the rocks. Can you imagine in a week or so when all the leaves are changing how incredible this view would be. I took a ton more photos and had a hard time picking which ones to put on here. I just really love this park and think that it should be something people take the time to see. It's amazing!

Me and my friend Josh posing for a picture. Again, can you imagine this picture in a week or so when more of the leaves have changed??? Amazing!

To end this eventful and fun day I got to sit and relax for awhile and watch the stars. In fact I saw two shooting stars and that was the first time I had even seen any shooting stars. It was also pretty neat. Unfortunately my day ended all too soon. I had a wonderful day, got to spend time with a great guy and I'm really thankful for it.

I'm amazed at the way God has taken care of me the last several months. I'm thankful that He put a person in my life when I needed someone. I'm thankful that I got to participate in a 5K (jogging no less). If anyone knows me they would know that prior to training for this, the most I had ever jogged was one mile and that was in PE class when I was a freshmen in high school!!! I'm thankful that God let's me enjoy the beauty of His creation. There really is nothing that compares to it. I'm thankful for the Bible and that I have it. I really do love that book. I'm most thankful that the God of the universe knows me completely and He still loves me. That kind of love is priceless. I would be lost without it. I have no idea what the future holds (good or bad) but I know someone who will be with me through it all and for that I am also extremely thankful.

Okay - I've gone on and on and this is a really long post. I'm done for now! :-)

Petit Jean State Park

Last Saturday I had a really fun day at Petit Jean State Park. Here are a few pictures from my trip:

This is a picture of the largest waterfall in Arkansas. It was very pretty...

This is a view from an overlook before we started the hike to the waterfall. The building behind this (that I didn't take a picture of) was very beautiful also. It was the kind of place you would love to just sit and enjoy for awhile.

This is a picture of a natural (I think but maybe not) stone bridge. It was pretty cool. This was towards the end of a 4.5 mile hike through the woods though so we didn't spend much time and I was kind of tired...

This is something called a grotto (might have spelled that wrong). It's kind of like half a cave with a pool of water in it.

As mentioned before, I had a really good time at this park. There was something called the Petit Jean overlook that was extremely beautiful. Unfortunately I left my camera in the car on that one. It definitely warranted some pictures though. Maybe on my next trip I'll get some photos of that spot. On our hikes we ran into a long green snake, an unidentifiable black snake and a tarantula. If you know me at all you would know that I'm petrified of snakes and really don't like spiders either. I'm also not what most people would call an outdoorsy type person but I honestly had more fun then I've had on any other outdoors adventure I've been on. It might have had something to do with the company I went with though... :-) My favorite part of the day was actually relaxing and looking at the stars at night. I love stars!

After getting back I was very sore. I actually cannot believe how many leg muscles you use when you walk through the woods as opposed to just walking normally. It made me smile though for the next few days because I was walking like an old woman. It wasn't so bad once I got going, but standing up and walking or going up/down a stair really hurt. It made me wonder if other people noticed me walking funny... LOL! :-)

Labor Day weekend

Sam and Lisa got married this weekend so I went home. It was a very nice wedding and I really enjoyed it. Here are a few pictures from this weekend:

This is a picture of my hair. My mom curled it for me and I was pleasantly surprised at how it turned out. With the help of a TON of hair spray it actually stayed fairly curly for most of the day.

A picture of the beautiful bride and groom.

This is a family photo with Lisa and Claire...

This picture was taken at the reception. The location was beautiful and this is my favorite photo of the scenery.

Okay, this is a picture of me all dressed up. If you look closely you can see the mirror to the right and the shoes I was wearing. Perhaps the miracle of the night was that I didn't trip and fall while wearing these shoes... :-)

On Sunday I got to go to Grace Community church. I love that church and every time I go I am challenged in some way. Sunday was no different. You can go to http://thebrownbytes.blogspot.com/ and scroll down to "Holy Hunger" to see the video that played during the service. It's worth it...

Then I got to visit my friend Marti. It has been one year since I had seen her and it was great to catch up with her. I miss her a lot...

The last thought of this blog is a statement that my friend Josh made the other day. We were talking on the phone and he mentioned that "God will never take you farther than your knees." What a true statement. Sometimes I get so caught up or overwhelmed with stuff going on in my life and in reality I just need to get on my knees and give it to God. This prayer issue was also emphasized on Sunday. Prayer is a powerful weapon that we have to fight Satan. We (I) need to be on my knees more praying for people I know, the Church, the lost people, etc. I can't remember if this was part of my conversation with Josh or church on Sunday (maybe both) but I want Satan to be scared when I get out of bed in the morning. If things in life are going well and/or we aren't struggling with sin/temptation then that might not be a good thing. If Satan isn't worried about you as a Christian what does that say about you? I want to have a passion for the lost, for prayer, for increasing my faith, love and trust in God. I want more of God. I want people to look at me and notice that there is something different in me. I want God's light to shine through me brighter than anything else in my life. This is my prayer.

5K

Yesterday I participated in my first 5K. I have no real interest in walking/jogging for long periods of time because that's just not the type of exercise I enjoy. However, this was a good opportunity to interact with others at a time when I really needed some social interaction. So, when Karen (my boss who I did this with) first told me about it I thought that there would be a lot of people participating so it wouldn't be too hard to get lost in the crowd. It turns out that there were only 6 people participating in the 5K walk (there were more people who participated in the 5K run). I have never really enjoyed walking fast and if I have to I just think it's easier to jog than to walk fast for long periods of time. My goal going into this was to not be last as I thought that would be embarrassing. Unfortunately when there are only 6 people participating it is a lot easier to be last... Here is a picture taken by someone at the very beginning of the race. I am smiling in this picture because I can tell already that this was not going to go well.

Karen is walking right beside me. Beside her is a friend of Karen's but not someone we knew was walking this race. The person on the far end from me is Karen's sister-in-law (Leslie) and the lady in the blue shorts is her mom. Leslie has been walking with me and Karen to get ready for this. Prior to this race she already told us that she was going to be keeping up with her mom and that they are both fast walkers. So, we were prepared for Leslie and her mom to not stay with us (Karen and I are both somewhat slower walkers).

Again, I could tell right at the beginning that this wasn't going to go well and I was laughing (nervous laughter) because I could tell this. After a minute Karen's sister-in-law and mother were already way ahead of us. After a couple more minutes Karen's friend asked us if it was okay if she went on ahead... :-) There is a guy who was also walking this that brought his 3-4 year old daughter with him. He is not in this picture because his daughter started the race running so he jogged to keep up with her. After Karen's friend walked ahead of us it was just me and Karen at the end of the line. One of the funny things was that the ambulance was creeping behind us. Every once in awhile we could hear the driver push on the accelarator and it seemed like they were telling us to go faster. This made me laugh. At one point we were very far behind everyone else and Karen suggested we jog to keep up. My reply was to ask if that was cheating because we signed up to walk... In any event we ended up jogging to catch up more with the others. Once we started walking though the other walkers would pass us again. This happened a few times. To make this even more sad the guy who was walking with his daughter ended up carrying her on his shoulders most of the way and he was still faster than us... :-) When I was walking it felt like I was walking fast but I guess other people just walk faster. Another funny part was that since there were only 6 people participating we all got a medal. I actually got 2nd place in my age group. LOL Here is a picture at the finish line with all of the walker/joggers who participated. The picture isn't very clear but you get the idea. Notice the bright yellow tshirt that the guy is holding. That is the tshirt I got for participating. Unfortunately I'm not really into yellow tshirts... :-)

It was still a fun experience and I'm thinking about training for a half-marathon with Karen and Leslie. We'll see if that happens though... :-)

What to do, What to do...

Have you ever had one of those situations where you never been in that situation before and you don't know what to do? I've been in one of those situations for the past few weeks. It's a situation that I think most people would not want to admit that they don't know what to do so they keep quiet, which is exactly what I plan to do. In these situations though I am again completely reminded of how much I need God. He knows what this situation is and He knows that I need help. I'm so thankful that He doesn't get tired of hearing me say how much I need His help (cause I say it a lot). I think I've said this before but I just would be so, so, so lost without God in my life and it really makes me wonder how other people get by without God.

This song has been in my head the past few days and it won't come out:

Lord reign in me, Reign in your power, Over all my DREAMS, In my darkest hour, You are the Lord of ALL I am, So won't you reign in me again...

Over every THOUGHT, Over every WORD, May my life REFLECT the beauty of my Lord, 'Cause you mean MORE to me than any earthly thing, So won't you reign in me again....

In spite of the fact that I don't know what to do this has been my prayer. I want God to be God over all my dreams, over all my thoughts, over all my words and I most of all want my life to reflect the beauty of my Lord. I'm trusting God that He will work things out or show me what to do...

Jesus Wants you to Know

If You never felt pain,
Then how would you know that I’m a Healer?
If you never went through addiction,
How would you know that I’m a deliverer?
If you never had a trial,
How could you call yourself an overcomer?
If you never felt sadness,
How would you know that I’m a Comforter?
If you never mad a mistake,
How would you know that I’m forgiving?
If you knew all,
How would you know that I will answer your questions?
If you never were in trouble,
How would you know that I will come to your rescue?
If you never were broken
Then how would you know that I can make you whole?
If you never had a problem,
How would you know that I can solve them?
If you never had any suffering,
Then how would you know what I went through?
If you never went through the fire,
Then how would you become pure?
If I never corrected you,
How would you know that I love you?
If you had all power,
Then how would you learn to depend on Me?
If you life was perfect,
Then what would you need Me for?
I never said it would be easy,
I only said it would be worth it.


I am not sure who wrote this but I really like it. This week has not been a good one for me and all I can seem to say is "God help." Daily I'm reminded of how much I need God but on the hard days or tough situations I find myself in it really is God that gets me through. I'm not sure how people make it through life without God. Trusting God is definitely not an easy thing to do. I know in my head that each time in my life that things haven't gone how I wanted them to that God's plan was so much better than mine but it really doesn't make going through those situations any easier or hurt any less. Today in church we sang the song, "I Surrender All" and my eyes were definitely watering during that song. It's easy to sing the words but it's so much harder to mean them.

Here is the first verse and chorus:


All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

I surrender all,
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

God, help me mean the words to this song...

Happy Easter!!

Because He Lives

God sent His son,
they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive.
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

And then one day I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone!
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives!

~ William and Gloria Gaither ~

Thank you God for what you did on the cross for me. Thank you for not staying in the grave. I am not worthy of your love but an so thankful that I have it. My hope is truly and only in You. May others know this same hope and love in their own lives. May the words I speak and the things I do bring honor and glory to Your name for You are most worthy of praise!

Heaven

So I just started reading "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. This book answers all types of questions about heaven. I remember being in Sunday School as a young child and hearing about heaven and angels and the harp music. As I've gotten older I've always wanted to go to heaven but every once-in-awhile a thought comes to me wondering if maybe heaven would be a little boring if all we every do is sing and listen to harp music. Within the first chapter of this book this very thought was mentioned as a myth. Heaven is going to be full of so much more. Reading this book makes me long for heaven so much more than I did before. The logic he uses to explain the bible references makes me wonder why you never hear pastors preach on heaven this way.

I think it's fun to try to imagine what heaven might be like. All I know for sure is that it's where I really want to be and where I hope all my friends/family will be. This world isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm so thankful for the promise and hope of heaven.

Struggles

So I get soooo frustrated at times with myself. I seem to struggle with the same set of sins over and over again. Each time I go back to God and say, "You and I have been here before many times but I still need to ask for forgiveness for this same sin." Sometimes I wonder why God is so willing to forgive me when I so easily fall back into the same sin. I know God has forgiven me and I am soooo thankful for that but sometimes my mind can't comprehend why he does when I continue to commit the same sins (although I don't mean to).

Singleness

So, I was talking to my friend about how hard it is to be single in a church because churches are set up for families and how much it can hurt at times because of the thoughtless comments people say and/or their actions. She has struggled with this issue a lot over the years and had a good point in this: At some point I think you have to be able to say "This is how it is, and it hurts, but God loves me enough to cover this hurt." She then sent me an email with the interview below and together they help me put into perspective my situation (not saying I'm complete there with being single and dealing with the church but I want to get there). Okay, I'm done rambling and will let you get to the interview:

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife nowhaving cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is anabsolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:People ask me, What is the purpose of life?And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We werenot made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body--but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems: If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease..

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since Istarted the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free. We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

Times are Changing

So, I started a new job right before Christmas and this new job is so much better than my last one. To me it finally seems like things are changing. I don't hate my job (in fact most days I actually like it). I get to have more time not working. Most days I don't leave my apartment until 8:15 am. I also get an hour lunch. The best part is that most days I'm done working by 5:30 or 6:00 and I have a 5 minute drive home. When I get home I don't have to spend any time on paperwork. On my weekends, I don't have to spend hours planning for the next week. All in all, it is a much better experience.

My new job has also opened the door for new friends. I'm most excited about this. For 7 months I've been here with no friends and it has been very hard. I don't fit in at my church because I'm the only single person who is above college age. I'm in a Sunday School class with young married couples who all get together with each other and talk to each other throughout the week but not with me. The kicker was at Christmas when they would all give Christmas cards to each other but none to me. That was awkward. I have really missed Marti and the rest of my friends in Indiana. Needless to say this has been a very hard, lonely time that is finally beginning to change.

God, thank you for caring about me. Thank you for providing what I need, when I need it. Thank you for being here with me when I had no one else. You are my rock and fortress. You know how many times I have prayed and cried about my situation and you listened each time. More than anything else (including a good job or friends) I need you. Thank you God for my new job and the new friends I am making. May I never forget all that You have done for me or how much I will always need you. Amen.

Faith

Okay, so I've recently started reading other people's blogs and have decided that it might be fun to at least have an outlet for my thoughts even if no one else reads this. Yesterday I spent a couple hours reading the blog of the wife of a member of Selah (a Christian singing group). This couple found out about 1 year ago that there were complications with the baby (Audrey) that this woman was carrying. It went through the next several months of doctor appointments and the ups and downs of knowing that the baby she was carrying would not live. I cried for a couple hours straight as I was reading this blog. I not only thought it was sad but I was also touched by the faith that this family had. Throughout the whole experience they never doubted God's plan. Oh, they prayed for a miracle but they accepted the fact that if that miracle never happened, God was the same today that he was the day before they found out about these complications. She quoted lyrics from another Christian song ("Bring the Rain") that says, "I know there will be days when this life brings me pain but if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain." I want this kind of faith in my life. I want to say to God, "God, even if this life doesn't turn out how I want, I still have faith in You and trust Your plan for my life." This is a lot easier to say then to actually mean with my whole heart. I want to mean it but I also want certain things for my life. For example, I long for a husband. Someone to share my life with and I want friends here in Arkansas like I had in Indiana. I do chose to trust God with these things but it's just hard when God's plan and timing for things in my life doesn't match mine.

God, please help me. I need you more than anything else. I want to trust you with everything including my future and where I am now. Help me God. Thanks God for all you have done for me. I know without a shadow of doubt that you have been here with me and helped me through so much all ready. Knowing this it makes me ashamed that I would ever doubt Your plan for me or not trust You. Please forgive me God for my weaknesses and the times when I have failed or dissappointed you. Draw me closer to you everyday God. Help me love you more each day. Thanks God for caring about me and listening to me.